I had to empty my locker of books for my trip to Belgium in order to finish all of the homework that was assigned. Who would've thought that I would uncover a small skeleton in my closet today though.
The song Dylan wrote for me when we were still together was there. It's funny, he never even sang it to me, so I never correlated a tune to the lyrics. Maybe that is why I never grew attached to it. The song was very sweet, but all I remember feeling when I received it was a little disappointment. Of course, I was just being petty, a petty teenage girl who just wants to hear the three words that are such an important part of faerie-tales movies. I remember that morning I was frustrated with our relationship and just wanted it to be over, I remember thinking we were practically friends as we never saw each other, so removing relationship labels would ultimately change nothing. I did not realize he would forget my existence the day after. The song in my locker and a rose impeded on my plans to end it and so I was a bit disappointed. It was honestly, all very stupid and childish.
Sometimes I think of how this year would have turned differently if he had actually done what I had hoped he would've. I would have never met my best friends, and would probably have not grown as close to Sarah as I did nor met my Senior friends. In a way, sometimes I regret not having made the change sooner. It would have given me more time with the people who actually care about me and not just about a temporary, high school relationship.
I allowed myself a dramatic close to the matter by burning the letter when I got home. I enjoyed every second. Why not? I had always dreamed about burning something that once held a certain importance to me. Granted, this time there were no imagined roasting marshmallows and the kitchen was filled with ashes I later had to clean, but the intent was there alright. I was happy to be able to be dramatic if only for a second.
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